This is a tough issue for me to write about because I’ve known girls and women that have to deal with this. I’m told it is a little like being an alcholic because one never quite recovers.
In this post I will recall my observation and intersperse some video on this topic. I don’t really expect any solutions to come from this post but I hope that some might be interested in what I’ve seen. Here is an overview video to start.
It was interesting to me to see the girl at the end of the video saying she did not have the energy to get out of bed.
First off let me say that while I’m focusing on gals – guys have eating issues too. I’ve noticed more issues in gals so I’ll focus on issues surrounding them in this post.
Disclaimer – I don’t fully understand the issues as a guy and not feeling the pressure to look a certain way.
What I mean to say is guys are the beasts – and gals are the beauties. At least that is the perception many seem to have. At my heaviest I’ve graced the beach communities with my body wearing swim trunks. While I gave the local walrus’s a run for their money – I did not care and still went body surfing.
I’ve noticed that gals really care how they look. The media seems to focus on how women look to sell magazines, movies, and lodes of snake oil (beauty products).
While I have nothing against anyone wanting to look their best – I question the logic of perpetuating the myth that losing a few pounds to keep up with the Jones will make any difference in social standing or such.
I’ve witnessed gals experience peer pressure to be skinny. Take high-school gals for instance. Can anyone honestly believe that guys like skinny girls over girls with some curves? Well maybe high-school guys (who are not well muscled yet as men are) might at times due to the same social pressure but this is not the real world.
Girls with curves and guys with muscle are the gold standard when one grows up. The reason I’ve mention high-school is the seeds of thought must be partially implanted in school when girls and guys don’t really have any standards. I mean if skinny is good – why not like twiggy? For those of you who have not lived through the 60′s… Twiggy was a sickeningly thin model I believe that was all of the rage for a while – much like the seemingly sickeningly thin models today.
So what I’ve seen is when a girl or woman falls to peer pressure because of unkind words of friends and or family – she really believes that she is fat when in fact she is already under-weight!
There is not amount of logic one can tell the girl or woman at this point because she sees herself as fat!
One sad case was one of my favorite singers off all time, Karen Carpenter. Here is a video of her singing.
Karen Carpenter while one of the golden canaries of all time, had eating disorders that eventually led to her death. Here is an overview of her life in wikipedia.
As I recall in watching her story – no one was able to convince her that she was beautiful the way she was. She just did not believe anyone. How sad for her, her family, and the world!
While I could go on with many more stories about how people have been messed up by peer pressure, media pressure and such – I would like to focus on way that one might affect a change around you.
Tell the girls and women in your life how beautiful they are – just as they are. No matter if they are over or under weight or just in their ideal healthy weight – let them know they are perfect!
What? Yes unkind words can and do have unwanted effects on people in many cases. It takes a lot of work (if it is even possible) to undo unkind words so making your children, friends and acquaintances know that you see them as beautiful might just counteract some peer or media pressure at a key point!
No matter – you will be seen as a friend and supporter of the person and even if your input is ignored – you may be able to help her someday if she needs a friend!
One point to remember – if you are ever are trying to motivate a person to lose weight to be more healthy – focus more on the healthy life style. Do not talk disparagingly to her about how fat she is as that (negative comments) will stick around for a long time.
Be positive to your friends and family – you have nothing to lose (even if you are not a positive personality) and everything to gain!
A kind word can go a long way. That is my wisdom (hopefully) for you today. Now go forth and be positive!
Eating disorders are a real problem. Addictive foods are much too present in our society, it’s no surprise that eating disorders are such a large problem. In my opinion a real paradigm change in our relationship to food would make a significant difference in the prevalence of these disorders.
Dr. J recently posted..The Sleeplessness and Overweight Connection- It’s Enough to Keep You Awake Nights
I have had several ladies in my life with eating disorders.
As you put it, it’s a lot like being an alcoholic, in that you have to live with it for life.
I totally agree on the thin vs. curves comment. Women are SUPPOSED to have a little meat on their bones!
I am no statistician, but I am willing to bet that the average guy would pick Christina Hendricks’ curves over Mary Kate Olsen’s skinny body, any day.
Ladies – no matter what your shape or size, chances are someone looked at you today and said, “Damn! Looking Good!”